That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
