My cat gives me a boner
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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