i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
