I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
