She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
