you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
