sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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