I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
