are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
