She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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