Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize