At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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