got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
