One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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