MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
