You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
