I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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