on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
