im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
