i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize