no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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