I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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