Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
