If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
