I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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