Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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