just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
