omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
