On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
