i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
