yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
