Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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