You smell like a Billy Joel song
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize