your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
