I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
