im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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