So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
