It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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