sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
