Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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