Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
