I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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