PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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