How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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