I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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