i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize