i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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