She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
