Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
