you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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