screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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