quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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