i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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