I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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