you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
