I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
