I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
