im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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