I need to stop coming to work sober
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
smell my finger.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
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The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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