hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
