i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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