my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
