I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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