this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize