you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
